I'M FINE | Antwon Vinnie

Thought the album was finished but I keep writing shit
Thought I was happy but I'm still fighting shit
It's not getting better far from subsiding with
feeling like I want to fucking die and shit

Hardly alive with this weight on my mind it gets
harder and harder to not regress
I'm tired of the endless stress
I just want to lay myself to rest

Cause I'm not like the rest I know I'm the best
but I don't know how to make that shit expressed
How does being human work again?
I couldn't guess
Feels like everybody is so unimpressed

With everything I have to offer
Couldn't get a girl to like me even if I bought her
I'm a damn martyr for my dreams
Cause it's harder than it seems
holding back the urge to scream

Life isn't fair
Natural selection cause life isn't fair
no affection is spared to the one who's impaired
I was raised to believe that no one's ever cared
about anything except their mother fucking selves
Since I was a kid I could feel my nerve cells being eaten away
From all the darkness that I felt everyday.

Now everything around me doesn't feel real
It's like I took the red pill
But no pill would ever cure this type of ill
I'm so alone cause no one knows how it feels

It's all in your head my guy, Damn right it is
So young and healthy, have you seen my MRI bitch?
They just see what's on the surface
And I'm so underground as an artist I feel worthless

Nowadays being unique is looked down upon
If you don't sound like anybody else they'll only yawn
That's why a fake sound I will never spawn
I'd rather be myself than ever be a fucking pawn

Praying for a new dawn to come my way
Cause honestly I feel like we have been led astray
From the true purpose that we try to find everyday
Not religious in the slightest but it's all I pray

Put this pain on my mental I can take it
I'm made of metal now my heart you can't break it
I may look happy to you but don't mistake it
If you see me smile it's cause I faked it

I'm so god damn awkward shit is tragic
No amount of magic could stop me from wanting to play in traffic
I don't smoke, I don't drink what's left to stop this madness
This ain't a pity party I'm just drowning in my sadness

Drowning in my sadness
Drowning in my sadness
I'm losing hope that I will ever move past this
I might just end it and trust me I don't need practice

I don't need practice
I don't need practice

Fuck

This album was to be my suicide note

But, something inside me’s telling me it’s not time go

Jumped in front of a car in San Francisco

Opened my eyes saw that they swerved though

But that was years ago, lord knows I’ve learned a lot

But have I really though?

Still battling the same old thoughts

Corrupted youth

Looking back on all these old tapes I found

I’m starting to see the truth

Hey, how are you

I’m fine

You wouldn’t understand bro

So What’s the point of even trying

Hey, are you ok?

Yeah, I’m fine

But if you really knew me though

You’d know that I was lying

Open my eyes see this world all around me

Perceived reality surrounds me profoundly

And hugs me gently like it was family

The old me is far from dead he’s still alive actually

Cause he never quit both then and tomorrow

Ready to crush my pain and overcome my sorrow

West Virginia’s tainted planes changed my fragile brain

But, now it’s plain to see that razed was there to keep me sane

Hey, how are you

I’ll be fine

Gonna overcome my woes

I know there’s more to life than dying

Hey, are you ok?

I’ve seen better nights

It might not be what you want to hear though

But I’ll get nowhere by lying