Photographer, Filmmaker, and Musician | Sacramento, CA

Three years but I’m still numb

Trynna find my happiness it won’t come

misjudgments I always make some

Stared at my ceiling too long I have finally succumb

 

All my hard work was for not

Wondering if I’m gone if I’ll be forgot

So much in my mind all these racing thoughts

I can’t make any sense of it like capital loss

 

Defective.

Laying in bed can’t accept it

The devils grinning my room is spinning my legs are beginning

To feel a thousand miles away yet my body is shrinking

 

Like the dreams I’ll never realize the eyes I’ll never see

The lies I always tell myself they feel so real to me

If you knew about me you would run away

I guess it's just another lonely day

 

Famous artists get praised for making dark music

Unknown artists get ignored

Cheered at all the marketed garbage

Authentic talent gets snored

Whens the last time I scored

(            )

Not with a hottie but moving forward

(   )

Toward all my deepest desires

the mind's the most powerful of liars

 

There is this dark entity inside of me

It beckons me away from the light and all that is good

I don’t want to follow it

But I feel like I should

 

How do the find the strength to kill Antwon and Vinnie

So that Anthony can live

 

I’m lost in these deep thoughts

Yes I weep lots counting sheep in my sleep not

This dark hole I’m trynna leap cross but there’s way too many

Brain feels like it’s missing a couple key spots

knew it since the twenty

So I don’t fuck with fireball I don’t fuck with henny

I don’t fuck with bad bitches shit I don’t fuck with any

Cause the ones that can relate to me there’s not plenty

I can’t afford these hospital bills

All I have are pennies

 

Please

Done lying to myself gotta sign a lease

To live with these demons these nightmares that I want to vanquish

I tell them leave me alone but we don’t speak the same language

I’m losing my hair and my hope

This musics the only way that I can cope

With thinking bout when I am forty and how I will live if my health takes a descending slope

 

I’m the most creative man on this planet

 

But the thought of losing it all

I can’t fucking stand it!